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"I was a single mother, trying to get my business off the ground," she says. Then she hired Duncan to design a website for her shop.
He's similar to her—an artistic person who likes to play guitar for hours, who prefers quiet evenings and going to bed early over rowdy parties.
Over and over again, I've interviewed people who kept lists of qualities they were looking for in a spouse—a Wall Street banker, a vegetarian, a skier, a poet, someone who recycles, someone who drives a Porsche, someone under 30—and then fell in love with a completely different type of person, someone much younger or older, say, than they pictured. When I was 25, I spent ten days in Rome doing things I had never done: staying in hotels that cost more than a night, eating pasta that wasn't Stouffer's. He wasn't a father figure—he was a grandfather figure.
I also met a man who quoted poetry and knew all about wine and astrology and Roman history and which fork to use when presented with several in a fancy restaurant. At the end of our weeklong romance, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers.
If she has no money, it seems like she's just hanging on to her lost youth.
Those are pretty severe judgments." But Duncan asked her out to a movie, then wondered aloud, "Was that a date?
She set him up with one of her younger friends, and had a long list of others to introduce him to.
"Then, suddenly, I felt myself falling in love, and I really agonized," she says.
" Finally, one night after 12 hours in the canyons and almost a full bottle of wine, she was so exhausted and tipsy that she got up the courage to say, "Do you want to take this relationship further?"I'm not interested in having more kids," says Carolanne, who has a 20-year-old son and a teenage daughter."If Duncan decides children are an absolute necessity, he has to make a decision.I waited longer than I have ever waited for any man to call me—I was in my 30s before I gave up hope, and only because I figured he was probably dead.But what I learned was, you might think it's not possible to fall in love with someone 55 years older than you, but as with most things you think you can't possibly do—fly an airplane, learn Chinese, move to Paris alone—you actually can.
"I think that when men date younger women, it makes them feel a lot younger.